It's a new dawn. It's a new day. It's a new life... What the?

"I will take the battle nationally and I won't shy away from challenging the powerful, the entrenched, the corrupt and anyone standing in the way of getting our country back on the right track."

Welcome to a little Sunday morning triviality.

Aside from the tedious histrionics of serial ankle-biters and their MSM accomplices, perhaps like me, reader, you have found yourself unable to listen to anything at all this week without capturing a word or a phrase resonant of a public ceremony scheduled to take place in Fairbanks, Alaska, on this day.

Humour my sentimentality by imagining that that was also very much in the mind of a mother and father, their three daughters, and two babes in arms earlier today as they gathered quietly together as a family by the gently lapping shores of Lake Lucille, to stand in smiling contemplation of the future and to herald the promise of a day in which they can begin to recapture something of a family life torn suddenly from them eleven months ago.

To those romantics of you who might conceive such a private scene, reaching into a pocket the youngest daughter extracts a single piece of white paper, unfolds it and delivers it to her mother, who begins to read aloud to the tight knit group:

Birds flying high, you know how I feel. Sun in the sky, you know how I feel. Breeze drifting on by, you know how I feel. It's a new dawn; it's a new day; it's a new life, for me, and I'm feeling good.

I’m feeling good.

Fish in the sea, you know how I feel. River running free, you know how I feel. Blossom on a tree, you know how I feel. It's a new dawn; it's a new day; it's a new life, for me, and I'm feeling good.

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know. Butterflies all having fun, you know what I mean. Sleep in peace when day is done, that's what I mean. And this old world is a new world and a bold world, for me.

For me.

Stars when you shine, you know how I feel. Scent of the pine, you know how I feel. Oh freedom is mine and I know how I feel. It's a new dawn; it's a new day, it's a new life.

It's a new dawn; it's a new day, it's a new life... I’m feeling good.

And, perhaps, in a desert country several time zones adrift, a young soldier glances at his watch, in understanding of the significance of what his family is doing on the shores of Lake Lucille at that moment, and murmurs to himself, “Hell yeah.”

(Nina Simone’s more soulful rendition of “Feeling Good”, here)

I May Have a Message For You: when considering the enduring spitefulness of those such as D’Oro, Chatman and McLeod, it has been my hope for some months that there would be an opportunity at C4P to parody an event in the sporting history of my country, in order to mark the occasion when Governor Palin finally has her day with her ankle-biting detractors.

Bear with me as I explain that in 1981 the English national soccer team lost a World Cup qualifying match to Norway. Now, you should understand that for the ardent English soccer fan of the day that defeat signified the end of life as he knew it.

Imagine the sense of national outcry in your country if a USA men’s basketball team was to lose to The Sporting Minnows of The Republic of Whoknowswhere and you’ll begin to appreciate that the defeat to Norway in 1981 was taken by some as yet further evidence of the terminal decline of a once proud nation.

Naturally, the Norwegians were not overly concerned by that, and chose, quite rightly, to celebrate the success of their national soccer team – as evidenced by this very well known example of tauntingly exuberant post-match commentary (here):

"We are the best in the world! We are the best in the world! We have beaten England 2-1 in football!! It is completely unbelievable! We have beaten England! England, birth place of giants. Lord Nelson, Lord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Anthony Eden, Clement Attlee, Henry Cooper, Lady Diana--we have beaten them all. We have beaten them all. Maggie Thatcher, can you hear me?

"Maggie Thatcher, I have a message for you in the middle of the election campaign. I have a message for you: We have knocked England out of the football World Cup. Maggie Thatcher, as they say in your language in the boxing bars around Madison Square Garden in New York: Your boys took a hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!"

Just picture a parody of that commentary directed at you Americans by the citizens of The Republic of Whoknowswhere:

“We are the best in the world! We have beaten America, birthplace of giants: Amerigo Vespucci, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Neil Armstrong, Marilyn Monroe, Walt Disney, Roy Rogers, John Wayne, Tom and Jerry, Fred Flintstone, The Wizard of Oz, Champion the Wonder Horse, The Statue of Liberty. Ronald Reagan, can you hear me? I have a message for you: Your boys took a hell of a beating!”

...and then think, but only briefly, of how deliciously puerile it might have been (may yet well be) to serenade the ankle-biting loons in similar vein:

“Ankle-biting, attention seeking freaks: Angree McMood, El Rabanos, Chihuahuadiva, Just A Troll From Homer, Phyllis Munger, Mad Val Henning, Gryphony, Dennis Wacki, Moosemucker, can you hear me? I have a message for you...”

Be careful, the ice storm’s coming!

Obamacare: having noted your President’s recent press conference on the subject of national health care provision, let me just whet your appetite with this example of the quality of individualised service you can anticipate under a nationalised health care system.

A few days ago in this outpost of the barbarian encampment a national swine-flu hotline was established for those who feel that they may have that virus. Essentially, this is a UK call centre operation staffed by previously unemployed people with no medical training whatsoever. These unqualified and untrained people have been given the authority to prescribe anti-viral medication to callers who correctly describe to them their flu-like symptoms. Basically, the call centre operatives ask a series of questions and prescribe or not accordingly, simply by taking each caller’s responses at trust.

Now, I’ll just make an obligatory pause while you get your head around this brain-scratching development and begin to envisage the potential for things to go wrong, as it seems they did on the very first day of the scheme when one flu-ridden caller was asked in all seriousness by an untrained, unqualified, swine-flu hotline, call-centre operative, “Are you unconscious? Are you difficult to wake or unresponsive?”

Apparently, at interview those wishing to become a swine-flu hotline operative needed to be able to answer in the affirmative to the question, “Are you brain-dead?” (Wanna a job, Andree?)

Neat vid: Sarah Palin: fighter (h/t Karen Allen)

In all sincerity Governor Sean Parnell, we wish you and your family the best. However, it’s possible that C4P won’t be able to oblige with quite as much attention as it gave your predecessor…… the tides are rising and it seems that we barbarians have a storm to surf. (here)

Another neat vid: Sarah (h/t LoveThatGirl)

And finally, …… since the Governor has been known to tweet a quotation or two in her time (twime?), here’s a quotation-driven, exclusive preview of the speech which Governor Palin will give today:

1. "The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

2. "Aint gonna shut my mouth. I know there's got to be a few hundred million more like me, just trying to keep it free."

3. “Do not go gentle into that good night/ Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

4. “Digitus Impudicus,” ankle-biters.

5. “Goodbye-ee, goodbye-ee,
Wipe the tear, baby dear, from your eye-ee,
Tho' it's hard to part I know,
I'll be tickled to death to go.
Don't cry-ee, dont sigh-ee,
there's a silver lining in the sky-ee,
Bonsoir, old thing, cheer-i-o, chin, chin,
Nah-poo, toodle-oo, Goodbye-ee.”


(h/t Vidsweet)