Levi the Liar

It brings me no pleasure to address a habitual liar, potential nude pin-up model, and puppet to Obama minions Rex Butler and Tank Jones, but Levi Johnston's (or is it Ricky Hollywood?) foray in to the world of essay writing deserves to be taken in proper context. Pretending for a moment that Levi actually wrote that essay, any reasonable and objective person will dismiss its contents after a simple review of his credibility. By his puppetmaster's own admission, Levi's out to cash in on the Palin name:

This is the cards that was dealt to him. So now what do he do? Go work at McDonalds? So people can ask him, as he makes $8 an hour, "Hey, how's Sarah Palin? How's Bristol?

According to Tank, if Levi's going to lie anyway, he might as well get the big money. Unfortunately, the truth doesn't pay, so under the tutelage of his attorney, Rex Butler, and personal bodyguard, Tank Jones, Levi has come to understand what sells. For example, here's some of the things Levi was saying about the Palins earlier this year:

"They're good people," he said. "They don't push me, you know. They kind of — they don't really tell us what to do, they don't tell us, you know, they're good people. So I like 'em."

And:

They always treated me like a son. I mean they were -- they were real nice to me. And I thought of her as like my second mother. You know, Todd was always, you know, a great guy and helped me out with a lot of things. So I mean they welcomed me.

Quite a difference from what he's saying now. After Rex and Tank convinced Levi that the truth doesn't sell, they've resorted to complete fabrications intending to create scandals that they can profit from. The more outrageous the stories they come up with are, the more publicity opportunities they all get. In the latest example, they've concocted a story that is so laughable, it's difficult to imagine anyone reading it can keep a straight face:

Sarah told me she had a great idea: we would keep it a secret—nobody would know that Bristol was pregnant. She told me that once Bristol had the baby she and Todd would adopt him. That way, she said, Bristol and I didn’t have to worry about anything. Sarah kept mentioning this plan. She was nagging—she wouldn’t give up. She would say, “So, are you gonna let me adopt him?” We both kept telling her we were definitely not going to let her adopt the baby. I think Sarah wanted to make Bristol look good, and she didn’t want people to know that her 17-year-old daughter was going to have a kid.

This one is just too easy to debunk, especially after Levi admitted that Governor Palin never "pushed" him. Levi is claiming that Governor Palin kept "nagging" him with this plan right after she had Trig. We're supposed to believe that she thought she could pass Tripp off as her own when she just gave birth. I don't think so. It would also look a bit odd if she went around telling people she just adopted a baby after recently having Trig. And, besides the fact that the pregnancy was an open secret in Wasilla (something that Levi expects us to ignore, I guess), Governor Palin would have to keep everyone who knew about Bristol's pregnancy quiet; which included Levi's family and friends, her family and friends, Bristol and Levi's friends and all the people any of them happened to tell. I told you it was hard to keep a straight face. This is merely another lie in long series of lies.

Let's take a look at some of Levi's claims...

In an interview with Larry King in April, Levi claimed that he cast a vote during the Presidential election:

KING: We're back with Levi Johnston.

In the next segment, we will meet his sister and mother.

Did you vote?

L. JOHNSTON: I did.

KING: So you're registered to vote.

Did you vote for...

L. JOHNSTON: Sarah Palin.

KING: OK. Just -- just wanted to check.

Actually, he didn't. The Associated Press reported:

Johnston didn't register in time to vote, according to the Mat-Su Division of Elections Office in Wasilla. But he's rooting for John McCain and Sarah Palin.

In July, Levi claimed that Governor Palin resigned because of money:

The former fiance of Gov. Sarah Palin's 18-year-old daughter says he thinks he knows why the Alaska governor is resigning - concerns over money.

[...]

"I think the big deal was the book. That was millions of dollars," said Johnston, who has had a strained relationship with the family but now says things have improved.

Putting aside for a moment that it was announced all the way back in May (well before she resigned) that the governor had signed a book deal (with a contract structured to follow Alaska's ethics laws - in other words, it wasn't an issue) presumably worth millions of dollars, Levi later changed his story in order to sell it to Radar Online:

Sarah Palin's marriage has been in trouble from the beginning, says Levi Johnston, the father of their grandson Tripp and ex-fiance of daughter Bristol.

What's more Levi told RadarOnline.com in an exclusive video interview that he believes marital problems were behind Palin's decision to resign as governor of Alaska.

When we asked if the couple had marital problems, Levi responded: "Oh yeah. There have been from day one."

RadarOnline.com then asked if Levi thought marital problems were the reason she stepped down from political office. Levi answered, "Oh yeah I do."

Levi later backed off that statement in an interview with Bravo:

Interviewer 1: “Yeah, I want to know is it really true that Sarah and her husband is getting a divorce? And, if so, how much of that information that you know about?”

Johnston: “I – uh – I heard about some of that and I actually don’t have a whole lot of information on it, so I couldn’t tell you for sure, man.”

Interviewer 2: “Well, I had read that you had said that they were fighting like cats and dogs in that house, no?”

Johnston: “Oh yeah, they were, I mean, you know, like every other family.”

According to the Anchorage Press, Levi claimed to live with the Palins before Governor Palin was selected as McCain's running mate:

But things were pretty normal between them—Levi stands by his story that he was staying at the Palins’ house regularly—until Senator John McCain tapped Sarah as his running mate on August 29. When Sarah became a vice presidential candidate, things started going downhill for Levi.

Now he claims that he lived with them after the election:

For “Me and Mrs. Palin,” Johnston tells Vanity Fair his story about life with the Palin family—with whom he lived for two months after the election—over the course of his two-and-a-half-year relationship with Bristol.

Ricky Hollywood can't keep his story straight, because he never lived with the Palins. Around the time he told Vanity Fair that he was living with them, he was working on the North Slope full time. Obviously he couldn't be living with the Palin's while he was on the North Slope. But saying that he lived with them, gets him a higher price in liberal rags like Vanity Fair. As Governor Palin said:

"I know the truth about my family. I know details about whether Levi Johnston was allowed to live with my teenage daughter or not. By the way, it would be over my dead body that a kid would live with my teenage daughter," Palin said.

Also included in the essay that was written for him, Levi added this:

Sarah doesn’t cook, Todd doesn’t cook—the kids would do it all themselves: cook, clean, do the laundry, and get ready for school. Most of the time Bristol would help her youngest sister with her homework, and I’d barbecue chicken or steak on the grill.

Yes, if it wasn't for Levi, the Palin children would have never been fed. Never mind that a journalist for Esquire not only witnessed Governor Palin cooking, but teaching Levi how to cook as well:

Bristol comes into the kitchen with Levi Johnston, her fiancé. He's a good-looking kid, very Abercrombie & Fitch. He says hi all around but doesn't say much more. When he's over here, it's usually just him and Todd and Trig in a house full of women, and the women dominate the conversation. He nods at Todd and Todd nods back.

"Levi got his wedding ring stuck on his thumb," Molly says.

"Levi!" Sarah says. "That's par for the course. That means you're stuck. That's symbolic or something." She pulls a roast out of the refrigerator and calls Levi over and starts showing him how to marinate it. "Now, Levi, look, I'm gonna put this stuff in here..."

This is a woman who saved Alaska money by eliminating the previous governor's personal chef, so perhaps Team Levi should have reconsidered this lie. They might have also remembered that this same woman was seen on national television cooking for Greta van Susteren and Matt Lauer.

I could go on, but I think a clear pattern of behavior has been established. Levi Johnston has no credibility because he'll say anything for money and attention.

Since Levi or Ricky or whatever he calls himself is a public figure, I have a few questions for him:

What is your son's favorite toy?

Does he sleep through the night? If so, how old was he when he first slept through the night?

Does he like to go the park? Do you take him to the park? How often? What does he like to do at the park?

Has he come close to saying a word? What about sitting up? If he does sit up on his own, when did he do that for the first time?

Where do you work?

What brand of diapers does Tripp use? How much does a pack of diapers cost? How many diapers does he go through in a day? How about in a week? A month?

What kind of formula does he use? How much does he consume in a day? How much does a day's supply cost? How about a week's supply? A month?

How much do you pay in child support?

Earlier this year, he told Larry King that he "ain't doin' a lot of no child support right now". He's not providing for his son, but he's providing for himself somehow. After all, new trucks don't pay for themselves:



While being interviewed on Bravo this month, Levi chose to deflect the child support question. Apparently it wasn't as important as the some of the other questions he answered in the interview:

On if he’d ever pose nude: “It depends on the money, man. It’s gotta be right for that.”

On being a gay pin-up boy: “I think it’s great, man. Um, I like my fans. Just another person.”

You never know when a new career path will reveal itself. This interview could prove to be a pivotal moment in Ricky Hollywood's career. From HillBuzz:

Redeye, a publication of the Chicago Tribune, has an article in it today about Levi Johnston, the father of Bristol Palin’s son, being offered $25,000 to pose nude for a website called StraightCollegeMen.com. The site’s owners, Bait & Tackle Enterprises, created an open letter website to Levi called LeviNaked.com inviting him to Las Vegas to continue making an ass of himself…just with less clothes on than when he does it on Larry King or on Kathy Griffin’s arm.

Here's a "best of" Ricky Hollywood video we put together:

UPDATE: Politico has more contradictions from Levi here.

UPDATE II: (h/t jim) In an interview with GQ magazine earlier this year, Levi had this to say:

Did you get the sense that her parents were pressuring her?

I know that her parents didn’t want us together. I really don’t think they did. So they probably put a little pressure on her. But at the same time, they told us they wanted us to get married when they found out Bristol was pregnant. Whether they put pressure on her for the breakup—I don’t know what the deal was.

Question for Levi: If Governor Palin wanted to hide Bristol's pregnancy, then why was she pressuring you and Bristol to get married after she learned of the pregnancy?

UPDATE III: Levi: Who you gonna believe, me or your lying eyes?

The Reliable Sources blog at the Washington Post quoting Levi:

"She says she goes hunting and lives off animal meat -- I've never seen it. I've never seen her touch a fishing pole. She had a gun in her bedroom and one day she asked me to show her how to shoot it. I asked her what kind of gun it was, and she said she didn't know, because it was in a box under her bed."

Hmmmm...

















UPDATE IV: Seth Adam Smith takes apart another one of Levi's lies here.