Apocalypse Rogue

The last two weeks I’ve been in and out of town on a perpetual on-again-off-again vacation and was waiting for my copy of Going Rogue to arrive with the eager and giddy anticipation of a schoolgirl. Aside from travel I’ve been house-and-pet sitting for my parents while they indulge in some retiree-style grandkid visiting, but I still manage to make it to town to check my mail.

I still haven’t received my copy.

The day Going Rogue was released, I was hopeful that it would arrive, but of course it did not. I was going to pick up a copy at Wal-Mart here in Ardmore-OK, but it was sold out … at noon, and the store had reserved an absurdly large amount of space for it. As new works by Patterson and King hadn’t moved so much as a copy, Gov. Palin’s memoir was nowhere to be found. I went to Hasting’s Entertainment – sold out. I went to our independent bookseller – sold out.

So, I figured I would sit it out and just wait for my copy to arrive. I gave up on trying to locate a store copy – I was visiting friends and knew I wouldn’t have time to read the book in the manner I like to read nonfiction, so I waited. Ten days later, nothing.

This went from amusing in a Murphy’s Law kind of way to annoying. Aside from being a supporter of Gov. Palin and having read two recent releases about her the same day I got them, I’m a book dork – I like getting First Edition First Printing (FEFP) copies of books I’ve anticipated reading, and Going Rogue is obviously no exception.

So, I went to my Amazon account, and apparently, my order from two months ago … vanished. Needless to say, the blood drained from my face. So, I started going through my bank history for the last two months and … nothing. I felt like Ed Norton the moment he realized that he and Tyler Durden were the same person. I wasn’t sure if I was being reverse Gaslight’d, or if I was losing my mind.

The latter is probably the most appropriate descriptor.

The frustration is that I’ve had most of the last 10 days off work. The plan was to get the book, spend the eight or so hours necessary to read it, then write a review on it. And now, I realize I’ve been waiting for Godot.

So, I’ll begin scouring stores trying to find what is now an elusive FEFP to read before Gov. Palin visits Oklahoma in a week, just not on Black Friday.

I don’t recall any book in this category ever driving this kind of buying frenzy. Many Libs are trying to pin this to big-box retailers offering heavy discounts on it, but there’s more to it than that, at least for me and the people I know who are anxious to read it: we’re not buying just one copy, we’re buying three: one to read, and then two more to get signed and give as gifts to people who couldn’t make it to the signing. I’ve looked at several pictures of the people standing in line for hours along Gov. Palin’s tour, and a great many of them have two copies. I know a dozen people who’ve already read the book – unfortunately, none of them live anywhere near me.

My understanding is that each store is requiring a person buy the copies at the store, get a bracelet, then only those two copies can be signed. This is absolutely remarkable – I have more than 2,000 books in my library, and most are nonfiction. I have never bought two copies of the same book at the same time, especially if I already owned a copy of it. Then again, like most of the people standing in these lines, I have never actually waited in line to get a book signed. The only authors in my adult lifetime I would consider standing in line for before Gov. Palin came along were the late Hunter S. Thompson and the relatively reclusive novelist Donna Tartt.

I’ve noticed many Liberal critics saying many of the people standing in line were merely “fans” of Gov. Palin, as though those screaming, fainting masses that attended the Obama rallies (remember them?) were all Brookings Fellows and Seven Sisters grads. I’m not entirely convinced that anyone other Bill Ayers and I have actually read either of Pres. Obama’s memoirs, as each time I go to a liberal friend’s home, I either can’t find a copy of one of them, or if I do, it’s spine is as stiff as a board. I must admit, although I love torturous reading, I didn’t actually finish either “memoir,” which qualifies me to review both of Pres. Obama’s memoirs for The Washington Post.

Regardless, I can’t wait to get a copy of Going Rogue, to read a copy, to get two signed, and to see what other Palinistas are writing about it, something I’ve resisted to this point.