A PDS Alternative: ODS (Obama Derangement Syndrome)

Today marks the first day of Dana Milbank’s Palin-free month. I am very excited about it in the same way that the Governor herself is excited about it. She said, “I can’t wait to not get blamed for – at least for a month.” I’m also looking forward to not having to defend her for some 28 days.

Now I do know that some people suffer from Palin Derangement Syndrome (PDS) and going one month without attacking or trashing Governor Palin could be quite a challenge. In the spirit of civility and bipartisanship, we want to help you. Here’s a little remedy: Obama Derangement Syndrome (ODS)

For one month, treat Obama exactly the way you would usually treat Governor Palin.

Here are some suggestions, though you can surely come up with many of your own.

For one month, scrutinize everything the President, his wife and children say or do. For one month, make sure that every verbal error he makes becomes an international story. Report every rumor created by an anonymous blogger as fact and of course, do not report that the rumor was eventually proven to be a lie. After every speech or interview he makes, complain about how he missed an opportunity and pick one or two words you didn’t like and whine about it. Check the teleprompter for further input.

Go after his political record. Go after how he quit after two years in the Senate to campaign. Cover the fact that his party lost his own seat in the senate and report how he had no influence in his own backyard. Report how many of the candidates he campaigned for lost and how it’s all his fault. And God forbid if something bad happens, try to find a way to pin it on the president.

Elaborate on the huge mole on his face, the graying of his hair, his girly jeans, and for good measure, the amount of weight that he seems to have lost lately.

Find something terrible in every poll that comes out and report over and over again how bad it is. When he drops one point in the polls, proclaim his political career over. When it goes up, blame his supporters for being uneducated. When he doesn’t respond to criticism, complain that he’s not saying anything and when he does say something, accuse him of inserting himself into the story. Once in awhile, just ask him to stop talking; trust me that’ll be a winner.

I am confident that ODS will cure any tingles going up the leg.

Happy ODS Month.

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