Matt Latimer | Team Obama Praying Mitt is the Nominee

Matt Latimer | Team Obama Praying Mitt is the Nominee

For a commander-in-chief who often seems to approach his presidency as if he were guest lecturing Con Law 201 at the University of Chicago, Obama almost looks like a regular guy alongside the former Massachusetts governor—he of the perfect family, perfect teeth, and perfect hair. Romney undoubtedly is a smart, well-meaning person, but he still comes off as the candidate who refuses to blow his nose until it has been sketched out days earlier with overpaid consultants, put before three separate focus groups, and only tended to by tissue paper made in Iowa or New Hampshire. Last week the former governor, in a masterful attempt to prove he is not in fact the candidate of buzz words and talking points, delivered a PowerPoint presentation on health care to a helpless audience at the University of Michigan—a PowerPoint, it was revealed, that he was personally editing.  At the college where JFK once launched the Peace Corps, listening to “Profiles in PowerPoint” was for students the equivalent of watching their parents’ vacation slides. It didn’t help matters any that Romney’s message was so craven—I can’t disavow my plan completely or I’ll look like a flip flopper but can’t praise it too strongly or I’ll look like Obama—that one could almost hear the gears clanging in his head as he spoke. Such blatant maneuvering led to hilarious headlines: “Mitt Romney: I Will Never Impose My Awesome Massachusetts Law On The Nation.”

Team Obama has to be lighting candles every day for a gift like this. Romney will prove so predictable, so calculated, so filled with everything money can buy but ideas that the White House can already plot out his every utterance—all the way from his love of ethanol in Iowa to his gauzy Reagan-invoking ads in New Hampshire to his selection of Huckabee as a running mate to his short, gracious concession speech on election night, his hair immobile in the gentle Massachusetts wind.


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