Even for those of us who are math challenged, it’s rather easy to calculate net worth. Simply take your assets, subtract your liabilities, and voila, there it is. It’s almost as easy as figuring out a profits and earnings ratio if you’re President Obama.
So, let’s calculate Governor Palin’s “Political” Net Worth. We could call it PNW. We will start with her significant political assets, subtract her so-called liabilities, and see what we come up with. This could be fun. You can share this with your liberal friends, too. If they disagree with my calculations, tell them I went to a public school and was taught by liberals, so it’s not my fault.
I. Grassroots support
– Facebook fans – 3.2 million
– Twitter followers – 575,000
– Two best-selling books
– Going Rogue ~ 3 million copies sold
– America By Heart ~ 900,000 copies sold
– Sarah Palin’s Alaska – most watched premiere in TLC history (5 million)
– 90 million Google search results
– Organize4Palin in all 50 states, hundreds of pro-Palin blogs
– Conservatives4Pallin = >1 million hits per month, most popular single-topic conservative political blog
– Dozens of Packed Tea Party rallies in ’09-’11 and sold-out speaking events.
– Hottest-selling T-shirts (which has predicted the last three presidents); 60% of all Obama-challenger sales and 30% of all political t-shirt sales, blowing away the competition.
– Attracted 60,000 to a rally in the Villages, Fla., and 20,000 to a rally in Richmond, Va., in 2008.
Grassroots worth: 122.8 million
II. Conservative positions
– Opposed $819 billion
DNC slush fund stimulus plan.
– Opposed $600 billion inflationary quantitative easing plan.
– Opposed $2 trillion Obamacare “death panel” bill.
– Supported $500 billion in FY 2011 budget cuts, not a measley $30 billion.
– Advocates tapping into 17 billion barrels of oil and 34 trillion cubic feet of natural gas in ANWR
– Opposes $6 billion annual ethanol subsidies.
Conservative position worth = 37.9 trillion
TOTAL POLITICAL ASSETS = 37,900,122,800,000
I. Hated, rejected and lied about by the Democrats, Media and Pop Culture
– Accused of being an accessory to a mass shooting.
– Accused of shooting wolves, polar bears and moose from a helicopter
– Accused of not being a real woman.
– Accused of not being a real mother.
Worth of liberal hate = zero
II. Hated, rejected and lied about by the GOP Establishment
– Accused of being a Big Oil-hating socialist
– Accused of being a lightweight with no policy ideas
– Accused of not being as serious as Michele Bachmann, who is the real Sarah Palin, apparently.
Worth of GOP hate = zero
TOTAL POLITICAL LIABILITIES = ZERO
Assets (37.2 trillion)
– Liabilities (zero)
POLITICAL NETWORTH = 37.2 trillion
As you can see, the Governor seems to be in a strong position in terms of PNW. She might be able to wait a few more days or months to declare for president, huh? I think it’s called SUPREME CONFIDENCE.
Enjoy your week, Barbarians. It could still turn out great … even if you’re pulling a U-Turn halfway to Pella.